(The subject is a quote from Gretchen Rossi.)
Alright, I’m tired of being the fattest one in every circle of friends that I have.. I’m tired of complaining about it, I’m tired of seeing it and feeling like there is nothing I can do, I’m tired of it completely. I’m tired of sitting here listening to all of the fun and exciting athletic activities all of my friends can do together and enjoy together that I can’t be a part of. I’m tired of being depressed because I have no friends because I’m a terrible person. I’m tired of complaining… I hate when people complain about everything, yet, here I am doing that exact thing. I’ve been keeping it to myself for too long, and it’s time for me to do something about it. I’ve been sitting here on the futon for the past hour looking up workouts that provide good cardio and muscle work while accommodating my knee injury… haven’t had much luck. If I could, I would trade anything that I have just so I could have my surgery. I can pinpoint the exact reason why I have been depressed for over two years now, and it’s because I can’t do anything I want to do. For the entirety of my life, I was able to go for a run or jump on the court and play a few games whenever I want. That was my release, that is how I handled being sad or angry or hurt. Working out is my most favorite way of spending my time and releasing any emotion that I need to. Now that’s gone. I can hardly walk up a flight of stairs without having sharp pain running through my leg. It is the single most depressing thing I have ever encountered.
I guess the first steps are getting another job and working as much as I can to save as much money as I possibly can and getting a consult to find out how much this shit will cost.
